''LIFEVEST IS UNDER YOUR ..SHIT''

gling glong (announcement sound)
''Goodafternoon ladies and gentelmen and welcome aboard ,this is your captain speaking ,and i wish to give you some information about our trip.
First we will reach 18000 feet and then pray that we dont fall (our mechanics were on strike last month ,God help as all), then we will cross a country near eastern europe that is called MACEDONIA (i'm not sure beacause there is a war somewere around there the past 10 years and they mix the names of the countries . If you ask me i'm sure they do it on purpose)after aprx. 3 hours we will fly through AFRICA and we will fly lower than 7.000 ft in case you want to enjoy the view of people dying from hunger ,diseases and dont forget , war !!! and at last we will reach AMERICA the land of freedom where you can meet people that afraid of airplanes , envelops and curious other people with dark skins that they call terrorists.
I hope the weather will not burn our engines (temperature over 55 c ) or crash it with strong winds (huricanes appear more often the last 5 years)
I wish you a pleasant trip and hope to see you again in one of our FIGHTS !!!
and don't forget LIFEVEST IS UNDER YOUR SHIT or if you prefer LIFEVEST IS UNDER , YOU'RE SHIT ,thank you ''